


Betrayal hurts (even more if it comes from her)

by daydreamer_tf



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Between Lex's death and the game night, Little bit angsty I guess?, Some thoughts that Lena may have in her mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamer_tf/pseuds/daydreamer_tf
Summary: Lex is dead and Lena is left alone with her thoughts and all the things she just found out.What is she thinking? What is she feeling? How does she go on? Can she even go on just like this? After her past years been revealed as a big lie?
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Betrayal hurts (even more if it comes from her)

Betrayal. Betrayal is something she should be used to by now. Betrayed by her friends, by her family, her own brother. Yes, betrayal is something she knows better than anything else. She knows it better than all other feelings that exist. Better than happiness, love. And still, the pain in her heart won’t stop hurting. 

The gun still in her hands, she lets herself fall down to the ground. Trying to order her thoughts. Unsuccessfully. 

> **“Kara Danvers… is… Supergirl.”**

The dying voice of her brother is rolling through her mind since she left the building. Haunting her with every step she makes. 

> **“She lied to you.”**

Her heart cramps hurtful together, tears are trying to escape her eyes. But she can’t cry, no, she has to stay strong. She can’t afford to break down. Not yet, not today, never. _Be strong!_

> **“She betrayed you.”**

The blonde's face appears in front of her closed eyes. _Kara._ Why did she lie? All those years. She trusted her, trusted Kara. All those years filled with lies. It made her rethink their friendship. What was even the truth and what was a lie? Was there even one part that wasn’t a lie? Did the blonde just used her?

Parts of conversations are flashing into her mind.

> **“Lena?”**
> 
> **“Oh hey look, I made a metaphor.” She says, pouring in more wine into her glass and pointing to the broken glass next to her.**
> 
> **“Are you here alone?”**
> 
> **“Sam is running my company, Ruby is at a friend… What news from the front?”**
> 
> **“Nothing yet.” The blonde answers her with a sigh and starts to clean the mess the other woman created.**
> 
> **“You know.” She turns to the blonde with a little drunk grin on her lips. “You are terrible at hiding things from me.”**
> 
> **She didn’t hear the whispering “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Too drunk to notice.**

Her heart starts to hurt even more at this memory. Why is it all of sudden so clear in front of her eyes? She was wasted that night so why was she able to remember it so clearly and why is it that particular memory that comes up in her mind?

> **“I came to let you know that I am not done. Not by a long shot. Until we know for sure, I will turn over every rock, and-”**
> 
> **“Just…” She couldn’t listen to her friend anymore, it hurt too much. “...stop.” All she wanted was to drown her sorrow with alcohol. Forget what happened or even who she is. All she wanted was to escape reality.**
> 
> **“You are one of the strongest women I know… why aren’t you fighting?”**
> 
> **“Because I did it! Kara I... did it... You know all I ever wanted was to be good. My whole life I was a prior. First because I was rich and because of my brother… and then finally I did just- just one thing. One thing that was good. And… hell I’m the monster that poisons children!” She says with a hurtful laugh. “You know even Lex Luthor never even did that.”**
> 
> **“Anyone who knows you would know that you would never-”**
> 
> **“Maybe I’m the same… People are sick.. and it's my fault.”**
> 
> **“There is still a chance it wasn't you.”**
> 
> **“I know you believe that everything is good and kind and that is one of the things I love about you… but that’s not the real world. In the real world my last name comes with evil thoughts and everything I do hurts people. I don’t know it’s- it’s in my DNA ok? So please just… just… just stop. Stop believing me, ok? I am… not worth it.”**

Suddenly she feels like her drunken words were true. Don’t you say ‘drunken words are sober thoughts’ and ‘drunken words tell the truth’? Maybe she was right. Maybe she… _No Lena! You are not the enemy! You always wanted to help people!_ But how much of Kara’s words were honest? Was even one bit of it honest? 

> **“You are terrible at hiding things from me.”**

The sentence is flashing back into her mind. Thinking back she felt like an idiot. A lied to and blind idiot. How wasn’t she able to see it coming? She should have stuck to her plan, keeping her distance from everyone. “I am not here to make friends.” But the blonde changed her mind. Oh what a big mistake to let her in! She was such a fool for believing her.

> **“Kara Danvers. You are my hero.”**

How was she so dumb? Thinking someone actually cared for her… 

> **“You are not weak! You are a brilliant, kind-hearted, beautiful soul. Your brother asked you for help and in life-and-death situations you help family. No one can judge you for that. I am so sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me. I am so sorry.”**

Maybe this was the problem. Maybe Kara was the one who felt like she couldn’t trust her enough to tell her about her secret. But why? Was it just because of her last name? Because of the Luthor name in which so many people already had to die and to suffer? 

She feels how the tears are starting to fall down her cheeks. Not able to stop them this time. But besides that she doesn’t feel anything. She feels numb, empty. Nothing left inside. Like someone sucked out every feeling that was left inside her. 

She should have known that it would go this way. Isn't it always like this? Someone steps into her life and she gets hurt? It's like her life is cursed and it doesn't matter what she is doing, it will always end badly. 

Her gaze wanders back down to the gun in her hand. The gun that killed her brother just a few minutes ago. Killed him to protect her _friends_ , to protect Kara. Just to find out that the blonde doesn’t need her protection. That she is the girl of steel, that she is Supergirl. Supergirl, the one person that stopped trusting her when she found out that Lena has Kryptonite and knows how to synthesize it. This person that yelled at her and took it personally even though all Lena wanted to do was to help people. This person was her best friend who always supported her, who told her all these nice and sweet things.

It made Lena rethink every moment they shared. Every little moment. _Was it all a lie? Does she even care about me?_

The thoughts are following all the way, following her and taking over her mind with every step she takes. And then there it is. The blonde's face, her bright smile when she sees the brunette and the little sparkle in her eyes. 

_Is this all a lie?_

She forces herself to smile. Forces herself to go on. All inside her cramps together, seeing her _friends_ sitting there, lying into her face like nothing is wrong. 

“J’onn is making us switch up the usual teams.” The blonde says with a sigh.

“My house, my rules.”

“But eh- You’re with me, right?” Pointing towards Lena, Kara looked a little hopeful. Hopeful that her friend says yes.

How was she able to say yes? After everything she just found out. She just wanted to scream at them. Scream out in frustration, in pain. _How could you lie to me? All those years!_ But she tries to calm down and instead answers her with a simple: “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's not fluff ... again ... BUT I'm working on it!  
> In the meantime: I hope you liked this little story :)


End file.
